Connect with us

Sex & Relashionships

Your Sex Life Isn’t Broken—It’s Just Been on Pause

Published

on

It doesn’t mean the love is gone. It doesn’t even mean you’re doing anything wrong. But at some point, for most couples, sex starts to feel…predictable. The passion doesn’t vanish overnight—it just fades into the background as daily life takes centre stage. Long hours, shared chores, streaming fatigue, and kids who magically know how to knock exactly when you’re in the mood. Suddenly, the fun part of your relationship is pencilled in like a quick trip to the shops—if at all. But here’s the truth: you don’t need a wild reinvention. You just need a few intentional shifts that bring play, curiosity, and closeness back into focus.

Start with a Real Conversation—Not a Performance Review

It’s tempting to avoid talking about sex if it’s not going well. But the silence usually does more harm than good. Instead of tiptoeing around the subject, try starting from a place of curiosity: What have you been missing? What would feel exciting or meaningful? The goal isn’t to critique or correct—it’s to reconnect. You don’t need all the answers. You just need a safe space to say, “Hey, I miss the way we used to…” and go from there.

Bring Back the Build-Up

We often underestimate the power of anticipation. Think back to when everything felt new—how long glances, playful teasing, or a flirty text could linger in your mind all day. You can still have that. Try slipping in a cheeky message while your partner’s at work, or casually mention something you want to try later. You don’t have to go full-on steamy. Sometimes, just hinting is enough to create tension that builds in all the right ways.

Routines Kill Vibes—Break One on Purpose 

If you can predict what’s going to happen—down to the side of the bed and the time it ends—your body might be checking out before anything even starts. No need to turn into a different person. Just change one small thing. Maybe it’s trying a different time of day. Maybe it’s taking it slow for once, or going all in on fast and spontaneous. Even something like turning the lights off and lighting candles instead changes how the moment feels.

Use All Your Senses (They’re There for a Reason)

Touch is important, sure—but so is everything else. The scent of their skin after a shower, the texture of clean sheets, the low hum of music playing in the background. These aren’t just extras—they’re part of the experience. A spritz of your favourite cologne, a soft robe, a taste of dark chocolate or wine—little things that tune your body in, and your mind out of everything else.

Make Space, Even If It’s Just Fifteen Minutes

Intimacy can’t survive on leftovers. If you’re always exhausted, always multitasking, or always scrolling, you’ll miss the signals your partner is trying to send—and your own, too. You don’t need a weekend getaway to feel close again. Sometimes, you just need to close the door, put the phones away, and show up. Not with pressure, but with presence.

Remember Touch Doesn’t Always Mean Sex

Here’s a simple fix many people overlook: touch your partner more. Hold their hand. Kiss them when they least expect it. Brush past them and let your fingers linger for half a second longer. Not every touch has to lead to sex—and that’s the point. When affection feels natural and consistent, physical desire starts to flow without pressure.

No Fireworks? That’s Fine. Go for Warmth Instead

Let go of the pressure to make every encounter a scene from a movie. You’re not aiming for perfection. What really matters is connection. When both people feel seen, safe, and desired, the spark doesn’t need to be lit—it’s already there, glowing quietly beneath the surface. Sometimes, all it takes is a little attention to bring it back into focus.

 

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

+ fifty three = fifty six

Sex & Relashionships

Should You Ever Lie About Your Body Count to Your Partner?

Published

on

Some questions come up when people start a relationship, one of them being, “What’s your body count?”  When this happens an honest answer is required. However, reactions to this question differ, while some freeze, others enter into a dilemma. Being honest is not the problem, but the other partner wonders if it won’t affect their relationship status. So when faced with this question, here is why being truthful is recommended

The Truth will Come Out

When telling a lie might sound enticing in response to this question, it is dangerous. The truth can’t be buried for long. A crack will eventually open from mutual friends, an old social media post, or a random conversation. Imagine how awkward it will be when your partner finds out from another person about your body count. When this situation happens, trust is broken and this will affect the relationship. Your best choice is to come clean and be truthful.

Lying Makes Your Relationship Unequal

When you are dishonest about your body count, you are setting up a bad precedent. You can’t be lying and expect your honesty from another person. Relationships grow when both partners come clean. Anytime your partner discovers the truth, trust is broken. If your partner can’t handle the truth, they don’t deserve you.

 

Read Also : Thinking of Moving in Together? Key Things to Know

Your Past Doesn’t Define You

Many people aren’t truthful because they don’t want to be shamed. The fact is, everybody has a past they wish to forget. But that doesn’t mean they are bad people. If your partner genuinely cares about you , the number of those who have slept with you won’t matter.

Lies Destroys Relationships 

Every lie creates an emotional distance between you and your partner. If you think hiding your body mileage is good, you are in for a shock. Although uncomfortable at first, it brings you close to your loved one. It lets you understand and empathise with your lover. While being transparent leads to difficult conversations, it helps build deeper emotional connections.

Final Thoughts

Being dishonest about your body count might be tree easy and harmless, however, it sows a dangerous seed. When the truth is eventually out, the relationship is destroyed. No relationship survives on half-truths, learn to be honest. Transparency allows you to enjoy peace of mind.

Continue Reading

Sex & Relashionships

Thinking of Moving in Together? Key Things to Know

Published

on

Moving in with your partner can be exciting. On one hand, you’re saving on rent and waking up next to your partner every morning. On the other, you’re about to learn how they load a dishwasher, or worse, that they don’t. Before you haul your boxes into a shared apartment or house, it helps to know what you’re really signing up for. Here are things worth thinking about.

Money Talks

The truth is romance doesn’t pay the bills. One of the biggest stress points for couples who move in together is money. Who covers rent? Do you split groceries 50/50, even if one eats lightly and the other has a bigger appetite.

In South Africa, Stats SA reported that financial disagreements are a top contributor to breakups among cohabiting couples. It’s better to have money before the moving truck arrives. Create a budget, agree on how to share expenses, and be clear about debts or savings goals.

Chores Reveal More Than Character

Household chores will also tell you more about the person you are living with. Some procrastinate, others struggle with tidiness. To keep peace, chores should be shared based on strengths and preferences. If one of you loves cooking, the other can handle dishes. If one hates dusting, maybe the other should do that. It’s a partnership, not a contract.

Read Also : The Real Reasons Some Avoid Commitment in Love

Space Isn’t Just Physical

When you first move in, the closeness feels special. But over time, constant togetherness can start to feel like too much. Even the happiest couples need breathing room. Sharing a home doesn’t mean you should be together all the time. It’s important to respect each other’s need for alone time.

Expectations is Different From Reality

Before moving in, many people imagine slow breakfasts in bed, watching movies, and sharing cooking adventures. Sometimes, those moments happen. But you should understand that it also includes bills, arguments and dealing with each other’s weaknesses.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that couples who openly discuss expectations before living together are more satisfied. My opinion? Couples shouldn’t expect perfection but should expect compromise.

Moving in is a Test

Cohabiting is not the same as marriage, it’s more like a trial run. Some couples discover they love it, while others realize they’re better apart. And that’s okay. Moving in together isn’t about failing or succeeding, it’s about learning.

Final Thoughts

Before moving in, consider all variables. Discuss money, how chores will be shared and set realistic expectations. Sharing a home deepens your bond and creates a daily life that feels like teamwork. So, before you pack  in, ask yourself, am I ready?

Continue Reading

Sex & Relashionships

Common Mistakes that Lead to Friendzone (And How to Avoid them)

Published

on

Everyone’s been there, someone we like looks at us and says, “You’re such a good friend.” That usually means you’ve landed in the friend zone. It’s a result of small habits or choices that push us into the safe “just friends” category instead of turning into a romantic prospect. The good news? You can spot these mistakes and fix them easily.

Overdoing the “Nice Guy” Role

Kindness is attractive, but when it slips into people-pleasing, it loses its charm. If you agree with everything, never speak up for yourself, or constantly make yourself available, you risk being seen more as a helper than a partner. Back in college, a friend of mine carried books and ran errands for a lady he liked. She appreciated him, just not romantically. She eventually dated another man who was kind and firm. Constantly trying to please someone rarely creates romantic attraction.

Staying Silent About Your Intentions

A common way to end up in a friend zone is not making your feelings clear. Many hope the other person will understand their feelings, but familiarity often solidifies a platonic role. Unfortunately, what usually happens is they get too comfortable seeing you as just a friend. I once made this mistake myself. I thought staying close would make her fall for me. By the time I finally made my intentions known, she said, “You should have told me earlier. I have someone I love.” Waiting too long makes it much harder to turn a friendship into romance.

Read Also : Post-Breakup Habits that Delay Your Healing

Sharing Too Many Details

Opening up creates connection, but sharing every personal detail too early isn’t ideal. Instead of being seen as mysterious or intriguing, you start feeling more like a diary or a therapist. I’ve seen this happen to a friend who would rant about past relationships on early hangouts. The woman he liked grew comfortable, but in the wrong way, she told him he was the best person to “talk to about guy problems.” That’s the exact opposite of where he wanted to be. Attraction grows when you let things unfold gradually, not when you reveal everything too soon.

Forgetting to Create Chemistry

You need to build on chemistry before you can be taken seriously. You need shared moments or experiences to spark attraction. Think about it: if every hangout feels like catching up with a sibling, If every hangout feels like sibling time, romance won’t develop. Little things like holding eye contact, flirting, or complimenting their style can change the energy completely. Chemistry is in the small, intentional moments that separate romance from friendship.

Waiting Forever to Make a Move

Acting at the right moment matters. The longer you sit on your feelings, the more likely someone else will step in or the bond will harden into “just friends.” I learned this lesson the hard way when I waited six months before asking someone out. She was disappointed, and her response was: Why didn’t you tell me earlier? If you feel a connection, take the initiative.” Most times, that perfect time never comes, and hesitation doesn’t help.

Conclusion

Avoiding friendzone traps is simple once you spot them. There is really a perfect moment to wait for. Show interest instead of hiding behind friendship. Create moments of chemistry, and show your interest when the opportunity arises. Be intentional about your actions , and give the other person room to see you for who you really are.

Continue Reading

Trending