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Post-Breakup Habits that Delay Your Healing

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Ever felt betrayed by someone you loved with all your heart?  Breakups can be hurtful and leave you heartbroken. While no relationship is perfect, being suddenly abandoned can be mentally draining. Healing takes time, but many people fall into habits that make recovery harder. A popular saying goes, No one can heal in the same environment they are broken. By understanding these habits, you are in a better position to heal faster. Here are some post-breakup habits that slow down healing.

Checking Your Ex’s Social Media Handles

While visiting your ex-lover’s social media pages might look harmless, it reopens old wounds. It becomes worse when the person has moved on and posts happy photos and videos of themselves happy. When you do this, you start doubting yourself. Instead of focusing on what your ex is doing, redirect that energy towards your growth.

Thinking About the Past 

It’s normal to start reminiscing about your past experience with your partner. But dwelling on such thoughts can hold you back from moving on. Reflections are good, but overthinking stops you from facing reality. Rather than dwell on “what if”, move to “what next”.

Using Rebounds as Distractions

Jumping into a new relationship right after a breakup might feel like a quick escape. However, most rebound relationships are built on shaky foundations and often turn out badly. Those who do this bury their pain under temporary relationships, instead of allowing themselves time to heal. A healthy relationship is built when you have recovered from a past relationship. A quote by popular author Steve Maraboli says, letting go means to realise that some people are part of your history and not part of your destiny.

Read Also : Things You Need to Stop Expecting from Your Partner

Suppressing Emotions 

After a painful separation, most people throw themselves into work or social outings. This is done to numb the sadness. However these are only temporary reliefs, as the pain resurfaces later. Pushing back painful memories only delays closure and doesn’t help with healing. If you want to recover, talk to someone you trust, and find healthy ways to release your feelings. This is not a weakness; this is you showing that you are human.

Keeping Unhealthy Attachment

Holding onto old gifts or text messages from your ex can delay your healing. from your ex can slow down your healing. Even if you convince yourself it’s harmless, these reminders keep the bond alive and often reignite false hope. Letting go of those attachments is an important step toward real closure.

Bottom Line 

Healing from a breakup is not something that can be rushed. You need to be patient and also avoid harmful habits that trap you in your past. When you visit your ex’s social media pages, keep their gifts, or jump into a new relationship, your peace is affected. Breakups are painful, but it’s a chance to rediscover yourself and become a better person in the future.

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Sex & Relashionships

What Counts as Micro Cheating? 6 Signs to Watch Out For

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A Man consoling His Partner : Istock

Micro cheating is used to describe subtle behaviours that can’t be termed physical infidelity. However, these actions in these categories still cross relational boundaries. They often go unnoticed because they are small. Over time, these actions cause distrust and may strain relationships over time.

Being Protective Of Your Phone 

couple hiding mobile phone : Dream Time

While everyone needs some privacy, hiding conversations from your partner is not ideal. When a partner changes social media access passwords and deletes messages, this can create mistrust. Don’t give your partner an impression about you by being secretive.

Engaging in Romantic Conversations With Another Person 

Emotional intimacy is important to any relationship. When someone shares personal feelings and thoughts with someone else, it is a problem. Many people confide in friends and colleagues about their relationship problems. It feels normal, but it can cross boundaries.

Hiding the Existence of Someone

A Young Lady Talking to a man : Freepik

When you start downplaying or hiding a particular person in your life, this can become an issue. A good example of this is when you are asked if you still contact your ex, but you choose to dismiss the question. This lack of openness is concerning and could lead to a bigger issue.

Read Also : How to Turn a Love Interest Down Gracefully

Seeking Validation Outside the Relationship 

Another sign of micro cheating is when you seek compliments from someone else other than your partner. This includes subtle flirting or enjoying attention from a close friend. Some people often seek praise or affirmation from people online that would usually come from their partner.

Constant Comparison With Another Person

When you start comparing your partner with another person, it can damage trust. Judging your partner’s looks, habits, or actions by another person is harmful. Appreciate people for who they are and stop comparing them with your ex or other people.

Dismissing Concerns When Raised 

A Man ignoring his pregnant wife :Istock

When a partner raises a concern about boundaries and they aren’t taken seriously, this can signal deeper issues. It means you are not valuing their opinion. Being defensive or dismissive suggests you don’t appreciate their feelings.

Micro cheating isn’t unfaithfulness, it points to unclear boundaries that should not be crossed. Understanding these signs and avoiding them can help partners maintain clearer boundaries.

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Sex & Relashionships

Is Ghostlighting the Most Toxic Dating Trend Yet

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There is a silence in relationships that is more damaging than conflict. If you have ever tried sending a message to someone and hesitating to continue because you have not heard from the other person in days, you already know what ghost lighting feels like. It is not just about disappearing. It is returning in subtle, inconsistent gestures that creates doubt. I have had my share of this and it is a deeply draining pattern. Many people pretend it is normal, but it is quietly becoming one of the most toxic trends in dating today.

It Creates Emotional Confusion

Arguing couples : News 24

Ghost lighting leaves uncertain about what to believe. One moment the person is warm and present, the next moment they are silent without explanation. I once spoke to someone who would disappear for days and then send a short message as though nothing had occurred. It left me confused because the actions contradicted their expressions. That confusion can make you question yourself when the actual problem is their inconsistency.

It Damages Self Worth

This trend often makes you feel like you are doing something wrong when you are not. Many people start to think they are not engaging or inadequate. I remember feeling that way. I found myself reading old messages trying to find what I said wrong. The issue is a lack of emotional maturity from the other person. But the recurring silence and sudden appearance can make anyone doubt themselves.

It Encourages Avoidance Instead of Honest Communication

Couples with issues : Unsplash

Healthy dating needs clarity. It needs people who can express themselves openly even when it feels uncomfortable. Ghost lighting removes that and is one of the reasons people break up in a relationship. It rewards people who avoid conversations rather than face them. I once asked someone directly if everything was fine because their behavior has shifted. Instead of explaining, they pulled away and then came back later acting friendly again. That behaviour teaches no one anything and leaves no room for real connection.

Read Also: Thinking of Moving in Together? Key Things to Know

It Wastes Time and Emotional Energy

There is nothing more draining than building with someone who cannot decide what they want. You invest in conversations, time, plans and emotions only for them to disappear. Then just when you are ready to move on, they return and start the cycle again. I have experienced that loop and it drained energy from other areas of my life. You feel stuck waiting for a message that may not come. It is emotionally expensive and offers no benefit

It Normalises Unhealthy Relationship Habits

Unhappy Black Couples : Stock Images

The reason ghost lighting is one of the most toxic dating trends is because it trains people to accept minimal engagement. It makes emotional instability look normal. When someone disappears and returns repeatedly, it conditions you to expect inconsistent behavior in future relationships. This is not how a functional relationship works. A stable bond needs presence, honesty and accountability, not sudden silence and random reappearing acts.

Ghost lighting may look like a small issue in the modern dating world, but it carries significantly emotional impact. No one deserves to be left in uncertainty. It is important to protect your peace in such situations.

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Sex & Relashionships

How to Spot a Mama’s Boy Early

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Spotting a mama’s boy early can save you months of confusion. In the beginning, it often looks harmless. He’s sweet, attentive and family oriented. But there’s a difference between a man who loves his mother and a man who blindly follows her instructions. The signs are always there, even before the relationship becomes serious. Here are some hints on how to spot a mama’s boy early. .

How He Handles Boundaries

Instagram : A black couple taking a picture

A man who follows his mother’s directive without asking questions can’t have healthy lines. When she calls at odd hours, he immediately drops everything to answer her even when he needs to spend time with his partner. Anytime she comments on your relationship, he always agrees with her suggestions. A friend once dated someone whose mother would visit without warning. Instead of asking her to call ahead, he waves it off as something normal. When a man avoids creating space, these are one of the subtle habits that destroy a relationship.

His Mother Has a Say in Your Relationship

If every disagreement somehow reaches his mother, take that seriously. In a past relationship, any small misunderstanding between us would make its way to her desk by evening. She would then subtly influence his decisions, and I could always tell when her advice shaped his reaction. A healthy relationship needs privacy. If his mother becomes the third voice in your conversations, you’re no longer dealing with a partnership but a triangle.

He Expects You to Fit Into His Childhood Routine

Instagram : A black couple together

Some men want their partners to mirror the comfort they get from their mothers.This shows up in small but consistent ways. He wants his meals to be prepared by his mom. Sometimes, he prefers household routines to match hers. I remember suggesting a different way to prepare something simple, and he immediately shut it down because “that’s not how my mom does it.” That statement shows he is still emotionally tied to his mother.

Read Also : Things Women Secretly Want in a Relationship 

He Considers Her Approval Over Your Partnership

Any man that consistently asks his mother’s opinion before taking any decision that affects both of you is guilty. It starts with harmless choices, but it eventually affects the relationship.I once saw how quickly a friend’s attitude changed after talking to his mother whenever we disagreed. It became obvious that her approval weighed more than our conversations. When that happens, you never sit in the driver’s seat of the relationship.

He Can’t Make Independent Choices

Instagram : Black lovers chilling together

A Mama’s boy can’t seem to make up his mind on anything. He is always looking for cues or needs reassurance before doing the ordinary. Such a man always depends on his mother for emotional validation, which makes it difficult for his partner to reason with him. There was a situation where a man couldn’t pick something as simple as a restaurant without checking with his mom.

Spotting these signs early doesn’t mean writing someone off immediately. It just means seeing the dynamic for what it is. A man can love his mother deeply and still function independently. But if he hasn’t learned that balance, the relationship often becomes an emotional tug of war you didn’t sign up for.

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