Is Ghostlighting the Most Toxic Dating Trend Yet

There is a silence in relationships that is more damaging than conflict. If you have ever tried sending a message to someone and hesitating to continue because you have not heard from the other person in days, you already know what ghost lighting feels like. It is not just about disappearing. It is returning in subtle, inconsistent gestures that creates doubt. I have had my share of this and it is a deeply draining pattern. Many people pretend it is normal, but it is quietly becoming one of the most toxic trends in dating today.

It Creates Emotional Confusion

Arguing couples : News 24

Ghost lighting leaves uncertain about what to believe. One moment the person is warm and present, the next moment they are silent without explanation. I once spoke to someone who would disappear for days and then send a short message as though nothing had occurred. It left me confused because the actions contradicted their expressions. That confusion can make you question yourself when the actual problem is their inconsistency.

It Damages Self Worth

This trend often makes you feel like you are doing something wrong when you are not. Many people start to think they are not engaging or inadequate. I remember feeling that way. I found myself reading old messages trying to find what I said wrong. The issue is a lack of emotional maturity from the other person. But the recurring silence and sudden appearance can make anyone doubt themselves.

It Encourages Avoidance Instead of Honest Communication

Couples with issues : Unsplash

Healthy dating needs clarity. It needs people who can express themselves openly even when it feels uncomfortable. Ghost lighting removes that and is one of the reasons people break up in a relationship. It rewards people who avoid conversations rather than face them. I once asked someone directly if everything was fine because their behavior has shifted. Instead of explaining, they pulled away and then came back later acting friendly again. That behaviour teaches no one anything and leaves no room for real connection.

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It Wastes Time and Emotional Energy

There is nothing more draining than building with someone who cannot decide what they want. You invest in conversations, time, plans and emotions only for them to disappear. Then just when you are ready to move on, they return and start the cycle again. I have experienced that loop and it drained energy from other areas of my life. You feel stuck waiting for a message that may not come. It is emotionally expensive and offers no benefit

It Normalises Unhealthy Relationship Habits

Unhappy Black Couples : Stock Images

The reason ghost lighting is one of the most toxic dating trends is because it trains people to accept minimal engagement. It makes emotional instability look normal. When someone disappears and returns repeatedly, it conditions you to expect inconsistent behavior in future relationships. This is not how a functional relationship works. A stable bond needs presence, honesty and accountability, not sudden silence and random reappearing acts.

Ghost lighting may look like a small issue in the modern dating world, but it carries significantly emotional impact. No one deserves to be left in uncertainty. It is important to protect your peace in such situations.